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But soft — the prog rock cult band of impeccable pedigree?
Originating in the late '60s, who survived the Nixon, Ford,
Reagan, Bush and Clinton regimes to return like the Asian
flu in new permutations, culminating in a triumphant double
bill tour with the mighty dark-art rock standard-bearers of
Tool in 2001. Inviting me to sushi?
I've never owned a King Crimson album, though I did go through
a phase in the early '80s where I couldn't stop playing Robert
Fripp's highly addictive instrumental LPs made with Police
man Andy Summers.
And as I recall my college roommate Dr. Steve Vegas was a
nut for Adrian  Belew
and the Bears. Good stuff to sandwich in between Led Zep,
REM, ZZ Top and Run DMC. At least that's what we thought,
but it could have been the cough syrup talking. Go Blue!
Yes. I would answer this summons to the Crimson Court, and
I would report what I found there.
The location? Sushi on Sunset. The principals? One brilliant,
tart, esoteric English bandleader named Robert Fripp, who,
as well as founding Crimson, served as a mercurial partner
on various wonderful efforts with Eno, Bowie, Peter Gabriel,
and David Sylvian.
To his right, Adrian Belew, famed guitarist and bandleader,
and lead vocalist in the current Crimson. And of course, Mr.
Belew has plucked his six-string alongside Zappa, Bowie, Talking
Heads, Herbie Hancock, NIN, and Paul Simon.
Then there's Trey Gunn, mild-mannered master of the Warr
guitar (10-string touch guitar with the range of a piano),
who cycled into the Crimson court during the Fripp/Sylvian
project in the early '90s.
That collaboration was the same magnet that attracted drummer
Pat Mastelotto, a session titan whose moody sound was prominent
on #1
singles "Kyrie" and "Broken Wings" by
Mr. Mister. Pat (who was away that night) was first exposed
to Crimson in person in '74, when they were "opening
for 10 Years After at the Cow Palace."
I piloted the Five-O half-track into dry dock and plugged
about $11 in quarters into the meter.
Inside the door, our small flock was channeled upstairs to
the private room where the band was waiting. Adrian halted
two women folk at the head of the stairs.
"Hold it. This is King Crimson. No women allowed. They
want nothing to do with this band." Maybe so, but apparently
the charms of open bar and sushi gratis have squashed this
long-standing ban, at least for the moment. The ladies just
laughed and filed past.
It's a good, warm, low-ceiling room you'll find there above
Sushi on Sunset, and a studio-pro sound system was set up
inside that could clearly have blown out the windows.
I said hello to the fellows next to me. Are you guys writers?
No, record  buyers
for Rhino in Orange County. Yes! Retail guys. Never underestimate
the difference a little personal attention makes for product
awareness in today's overcrowded stores. Hey Kid! Yes you,
with the Avril Lavigne CD — how about a piece of "The
Power To Believe"?
With the audience of 30 or 40 now assembled — and, I
noticed, guzzling 24-oz Sapporos right from the bottle (no
shame in this rock game, we know that by now, right?) —
the rap-rock-looking dude from SIR studio rental pressed play
on the audio system.
The air was filled with music. Some stared off into space,
some chatted under their breaths, some rocked back and forth
with their eyes closes, totally INTO IT, some took notes.
I was checking out Mr. Fripp, the ranking member of our three
Kings. He was sitting quietly in a mode of faintly reptilian
receptivity, looking  a
hell of a lot like Hannibal Lecter — you know, impeccable
grooming, hint of a smile, listening with his eyes mostly
closed. The other two guys? Normal. Casual. Having a saki.
The music played. My notes:
1) Ballad with Alan Parsons Project overtones, like an Asia
single, a bit better.
2) Film score-style lyrical prog-rock overture Almost reminds
me of the soundtrack for Death Wish II (Jimmy Page vs. The
Big '80s)
3) Fixx-style hard pop new wave single
Eco-pop?
4) Bell works to please Mickey Hart
very cool, percussive, harmonic, this I like
5) Evocative, pulsing, synthy film-theme type stuff not so
far from Philip Glass
6) Hey, I just discovered how to mic vocals for "grunge"
Like  a
middle-aged Silverchair But with cool arrangements Actual
lyric for chorus: "I guess I need a chorus!"
Technically A-plus. Content? Solid B. Not brimming over with
soul or anything, but fully listenable, especially, I'm guessing,
for prog-rock loyalists reared on Rush, Yes, ELP.
And that's where the fireworks begin.
After the listening sesh, a guy is standing in Fripp's sightline
fiddling with the soundboard he's trying to patch into his
DAT recorder. Meanwhile they're trying to prep the mic for
the interview, which is feeding back — an ear-curdler
which has apparently woken Dr. Lecter up from his nap in something
of a mood.
"Tell me something. Are you going to stand there in
front of that thing like a dick or are we going to get on
with this?"
Or something like that. Crisp, English  articulation
(Lecter!) The chastened offender makes a little "Oh"
and sinks to a squat.
There's a stir of nervousness, but no one in the band is
fazed in the slightest.
Jaison: "OK! Does anyone have any questions?"
Suddenly no one's sure. Then a hand shoots up. Ah! A question,
delivered with confident professionalism — as it turns
out, exactly the wrong approach.
"This is Corporate Rock Writer X from Rollingtone.com.
This is a question for Robert. Do you think technology helps
or hurts what you're doing at this point?"
A pause, Fripp motionless with the mic.
"Look. If you have a professional question, don't ask
it. Don't ask it.  All
the answers for those questions are already out there available
and you can find them. Let's use this time. We are never going
to be here together in this configuration again. If you don't
have a question that is burning inside you and for some important
reason needs to be asked, then don't bother at all, because
we're too old to be bothered with professional questions."
Awesome. He finds no merit in the question so he blows it
off. Quality control all the way down the line. I mean, discipline
is one of Fripp's watchwords — the title of a major Crimson
album and even of his own record company, Discipline Mobile.
But here's the cool-ass thing about L.A. The imperious but
romantic style  of
life embodied by British rock royalty is perfectly complimented
by our sun-kissed Western shores. No one got uptight. We just
tried again, a woman this time.
"Hi. I'm not sure if this question is professional or
burning or essential or what it is..."
Laughter.
"Why do you do this, Robert? Is it fun?"
Pause.
Robert: "I'll turn that one over to Adrian."
And so on.
Good recovery. Hell, everyone knows they are in for an orgy
of free booze and sushi, so it's literally impossible to bring
us down. If the host wants to humiliate a few unfortunates
— then off with their heads!
Belew and Trey are poker-faced super-pros, and they do a
fair job playing the accommodating members of Crimson. But
really — Fripp's perfect diction and headmaster manners
make him a  perfect
candidate for villain roles in a Hollywood movie. English
accents — the best villains always got 'em.
Suddenly no one wants to ask a question, so it looks like
it's my turn.
"Nate Diamond, Hollywood Five-O. Your new stuff is really
cinematic-sounding. Have you guys ever considered doing scores
for films?"
Expectant pause.
Was a scorching riposte about to cut my head off?
"Steven Seagal," begins Fripp, "hasn't called
and asked me." (laughter)
Steven Freaking Seagal?!? Bingo. Five-O had a King Crimson
quote.
"Film music is very political," he continued. So
probably no. But I'm not against it."
Trey: "Anyway Tarkovsky is dead."
Adrian: "Maybe later."
Somebody pipes up: Would you ever appear on Howard Stern?
 Fripp:
(deadpan) "I don't think my buns are firm enough. (laughter)
But I'll tell you the opportunity where I would appear. Stern
had a battle of the bands where his band and the competition
both played King Crimson. I would have appeared as judge for
that, that's probably the only reason I would, but I was not
invited."
Q: Did you know Howard did a take-off using your music called
"Lord of the Anal Rings"?
Fripp: "That one I haven't given permission for."
(laughter)
Then the Q&A detours onto lovefest lane as people ask
about Crimson's 2001 tour with Tool. As everyone knows, Maynard
is a huge fan.
Fripp: "In 33 years it was one of my two favorite tours.
It was a privilege. Wonderful stuff."
Q: What was the other favorite tour?
Fripp: "CG3 in 1997."
Robert also warns of a potent power trio featuring Les from
Primus on bass, Adrian Belew, and Danny, drummer from Tool.
Q: What do you recall about the day you opened for the Stones
in Hyde Park in '69?
Fripp: "I recall (keyboardist) Greg Lake being knocked
down by a cardboard Brian Jones. There was also a plan to
release thousands of butterflies. But they had been damaged
in transport and so the boxes were brought out which  were
filled with dead butterflies. That's one memory I have. We
also played the West Palm Beach Fest in '69 with the Stones.
The Hell's Angels were security."
For an instant the shadow of Altamont flickered over the
room. Dead butterflies indeed.
Q: Adrian, earlier you said anything to do with Crimson is
predominately male. Why is that?
Adrian: "I'll give that to Robert."
Robert: "Because women don't like us. (laughter) I don't
know if it's related but there is a memory I have. When I
was young, I told my mother I'd decided to become a professional
musician. She burst into tears. She says she has no memory
of that. I don't know if it's true or not, I only know I remember
it. I once asked her why. And she said, because I was afraid
you would become bitter."
Adrian: "Oh, come now."
Robert: "But I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter."
On that unusual protestation, the Q&A was wrapped.
 And
that was my 60 minutes in the Crimson Court. Pity I couldn't
stay for the sushi feeding frenzy. I had to split for Silverlake
pronto for a friend's birthday toast.
Sanctuary Records and King Crimson, allow me to say thanks
for the beer, the music, the straight talk and the rock and
roll comedy. Trust me, I'm going to have Steven Seagal's people
call you just as soon as he comes out from underneath his
bed. 
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